Something More To Life
by Twilight Raven
Summary: A songfic to the song "45" by Shinedown.:: Kurama considers suicide, and I suck at summarizing. Just please R&R.


Hi all! I just thought of this new fic idea while listening to my CD in the morning. Depressing idea yes, but I thought I could take it somewhere. ^^; This is just a one chappy deal, so don't expect too much. It's a songic to the song "45" by Shinedown. Great song! Well, I'll just start this.  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own anything YYH related. ^^  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
The streets were buzzing with their normal afternoon traffic, as a lone red head made his way through the crowd.  
  
~*~*~*~*~  
  
*Earlier that morning . . .*  
  
"Hey Kurama!" A boy with slicked back black hair called out as he ran up to him.  
  
"Yes Yusuke?" Kurama asked with inquisitive eyes.  
  
"Koenma said he has a new case set up. We're all getting together at Kuwabara's place to watch the video around noonish." Yusuke stated, seemingly thrilled at the idea of another chance to kick someone's can.  
  
"Noon? Alright, I'll be there." Kurama replied, nodding lightly.  
  
"Alrighty. See ya then!" Yusuke called back as he was already half way down the block.  
  
"Yes . . . see you then." Kurama murmured, a slight breeze pushing loose red locks in front of his emerald eyes.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
It was around 11:30 AM, and Kurama kept his promise as he was headed in the direction of Kazuma Kuwabara's residence.  
  
The sky was a light tinge of gray, but was clouding over at a good rate.  
  
'Smells like rain.' Kurama thought, taking a shortcut through a musty smelling alleyway.  
  
As he made his way through the alley, he noticed a small group of thugs leaning against the walls. Four or five at the most. All of them smirking as Kurama calmly made his way past them.  
  
"Hey, kid! What'chu thinkin'? Blowing by us like that! How about lendin' us a little dough?" The largest thug, most definitely the ring leader, grinned wickedly.  
  
Kurama just paused, but didn't look back. "Sorry, I have no time to deal with petty criminals such as you."  
  
The group of thugs just looked on in confusion as Kurama made his way out of the alley without so much as a fuss.  
  
Once out of the alley, Kurama found himself in the peaceful suburban area where Kuwabara's home was located in. Walking a couple more blocks, kicking a stone out of the way every now and then in boredom, he finally arrived at the his desired location.  
  
He walked up to the door, holding a fist up to knock, before pausing.  
  
'. . . let's get this over with.' He thought, before knocking on the door.  
  
Soon enough, the door opened to reveal the impatient form of Kuwabara. "Thought you'd never get here! C'mon let's go watch this video." He said, letting Kurama enter before closing the door.  
  
Kurama entered the family room and looked upon all the familiar faces, grinning lightly.  
  
"Yusuke," he nodded to the brown eyed spirit detective, "Hiei," he nodded again, this time to the ruby eyed, black cloaked swordsman, "Kuwabara," he nodded to the tall, orange haired boy who had just entered the room, "Sorry to have kept you all waiting." He finished.  
  
"S'okay Kurama. Now let's watch this darn video already!" Yusuke shouted, ushering Kurama and Kuwabara to sit down as he popped in the black box containing their next case.  
  
The screen flashed on, and the black and white fuzz soon dispersed as the form of Koenma appeared on the screen.  
  
"Good, you're all here. This next case I have for you isn't the hardest you've had, but it isn't the easiest either. A group of apparitions have collected in the mountains west of your city. Their group is rapidly gaining members, and I want you to make sure they're eliminated before their size is big enough to do hefty damage." Koenma stated, flipping through some folders.  
  
"Aw man. We're just playing exterminators? I thought it was gonna be better than that." Yusuke sighed disappointedly.  
  
"Our duty is our duty, Yusuke." Kurama replied, looking at the ceiling as if trying to see through it.  
  
"I knew I could count on you to be serious about this, Kurama! I want you to leave by tomorrow. No buts! Well, I'm out. Getting busy here. Just don't get yourselves killed!" Koenma added, before the screen returned to buzzing fuzz.  
  
"Jeez. Oh well, a case is a case I guess," Yusuke muttered, folding his arms behind his neck. He turned his attention over to Kurama, who was still staring a hole in the ceiling. "Hey Kurama, you okay?"  
  
Kurama remained silent. His red bangs shadowed his eyes, and everyone's attention was on him. " . . . yes. I'm fine." He stated, getting to his feet, his eyes still not visible. "I'm just tired. I'll just be going home. See you all tomorrow." He finished as he made his way out of the room, everyone's confused eyes on him.  
  
He reached for the knob of the front door, before pausing.  
  
*"Kurama?"* He heard Hiei's voice in his head.  
  
*"I'm fine Hiei. Seriously."* Kurama mentally spoke silently.  
  
*"Hn."*  
  
*"And Hiei?"*  
  
*"What?"*  
  
"Don't follow me." Kurama whispered silently.  
  
*Send away for a priceless gift . . .*  
  
Once outside, Kurama found his hypothesis to be correct. A light drizzle misted the ground as the clouds blocked out the sun. He quickly made his way off the front steps and into the street, and the sky was the only thing misting over.  
  
Kurama's eyes were welling up with tears, and he didn't know why. He wasn't one to cry. As much as his eyes misted over, he refused to let the crystalline droplets cascade down his face.  
  
A few moments later, Kurama found himself in the same alley as he was in not long ago. And the thugs were still there.  
  
"Hey! Looked who decided to show his face again! Hey kid! C'mere. I think I oughta teach ya some respect." The leader laughed, waiting for Kurama to shiver in fear and run off so he could give chase and make the beating more enjoyable. But to his surprise . . . Kurama approached him.  
  
"Huh? Hahaha, alright. If you're that willing to lose some teeth, I'll make this quick." The thug said, grabbing Kurama by the collar of his reddish outfit. Kurama looked up and stared into the eyes of the thug. The thug blinked in confusion, surprised that Kurama's eyes were wavering with wet tears. "Well, feel free to beg fer mercy!" The thug laughed, regaining himself as he thrust his fist forward.  
  
He expected some struggling or pleas for help, but the only sound that met his ears was the smack of his fist against the side of Kurama's face. Kurama sprawled back aways, not even getting up.  
  
"What's with this kid?!" The thug called out, walking over to Kurama and picking him up once again. "Don't you fight back?!"  
  
*One not subtle, one not on the list . . .*  
  
Kurama looked at him, his eyes almost eerily emotionless. "I have no reason . . ." He muttered.  
  
*SMACK!*  
  
Kurama flew back once again, but this time another sound met the thug's ears. Sirens.  
  
*Send away for a perfect world . . . *  
  
A cop car pulled out just outside the alley, as a lone officer stepped out and looked upon the group. His eyes traveled from Kurama's ground ridden form, to the thug's smirking faces.  
  
"I'm Officer Tenki. You thugs are all under arrest!" He shouted, hiding the slight fear that might betray him.  
  
The thugs just all laughed. The leader picked Kurama's form up once again, then looked back at the officer. "Why? Did we do something wrong?" He smirked, before giving Kurama a hard blow to the gut.  
  
"Bastard!" Tenki shouted, pulling his pistol from his pocket and aiming it at the thug leader. "Leave the boy alone or face the consequences!"  
  
*One not simply, so absurd . . .*  
  
The thugs stared down the officer, and before he knew it, he found himself flying up against a wall.  
  
"Don't threaten us, human!" The thug leader shouted, suddenly growing sharp fangs and horns protruded from his head.  
  
"D-D-Demons!!" Tenki shouted, getting unsteadily to his feet and firing round off at the demons.  
  
The many bullets he fired hardly damaged the demon thug leader. He was a gokumonki. The bullets just bounced off his rock like hide.  
  
*In these times of doing what you're told . . .*  
  
"Pathetic human!" he boasted, laughing as he grabbed a dagger from his side, and lodged it in the officer's chest.  
  
Kurama watched as the human policeman cried out in agony, firing off any last rounds he had on his pistol but to know avail. He couldn't take it anymore.  
  
*You keep these feelings, no one knows . . .*  
  
"Stupid humans always get in the way of my fun." The thug leader growled, shoving the dagger further through the officer's chest. "Die human!"  
  
"ROSE WHIP!"  
  
The snapping sound echoed through the area, and then all went silent. The smell of fragrant roses mingled with the thick aroma of fresh blood, as the thug leader collapsed to his knees, before falling to pieces.  
  
The other demon thugs shouted in fear as they turned to run, but Kurama wouldn't have it.  
  
"ROSE WHIPLASH!"  
  
Finishing his work, the rest of the demons proceeded to litter the ground with their halved corpses.  
  
Kurama walked over to the form of the human officer. The officer's eyes widened, obviously he was afraid of Kurama. He lifted his gun and aimed at Kurama's head, as his whole body shook.  
  
Kurama just gazed down at him, waiting for him to shoot. "Please, it would be a favor."  
  
*What ever happened to the young man's heart . . . *  
  
The officer's fearfully look changed to a confused one. He tried to ask the question why, but only an agonized groan left his lips, before he fell over . . . lifeless.  
  
Kurama continued staring, as if staring into the human's dying soul. The light was gone from his, the energy, the life.  
  
Kurama bent down, laying a rose on the man's body, before turning his attention to the pistol gripped in his bloodied hands. Kurama grabbed the barrel of the gun, and slipped it out from the officer's hand. He then stood up, and examined the gun. It had one bullet left. Kurama sighed, before making up his mind. His next destination was the park.  
  
*Swallowed by pain, as he slowly fell apart . . . *  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
Kurama sat on a park bench deep in the park. The chilly night air whirled around him, and the misting rain was still falling, getting heavier and heavier every few minutes. It would become a downpour soon.  
  
Kurama then averted his attention to the gun in his hands. The cool black weapon shimmered in the faint light of the park lights, and shone as the water droplets dripped off it.  
  
*And I'm staring down the barrel of a 45 . . .*  
  
"I don't believe . . . I can live this life anymore." He spoke silently, the breeze carrying his words to his ears so he knew what he was saying.  
  
*Swimming through the ashes of another life . . .*  
  
"This life holds nothing but pain for me now . . . I realize. I miss my past life . . . at least I didn't have to live this lie."  
  
*No real reason to accept the way things have changed . . .*  
  
"This daily cases play like a broken record. We go, we fight, we get wounded, we win. I'm always regarded as the wise one, but I won't complain. People look to me for wisdom . . ." His murmurs became louder and louder. "BUT WHO DO I TURN TO?!" He cried out, thrusting his face to the heavens, before the tears finally came as twin rivers, pulsing down his face. Their salty taste bitter on his lips.  
  
*Staring down the barrel of a 45 . . . *  
  
"I'm so tired . . . I can't carry on anymore." He cried softly, before looking at the gun again. He smiled faintly, hiccupping slightly from his cries. "But . . . it will all end now." He said, lifting the gun up slowly.  
  
*Send a message to the unborn child . . .*  
  
"I'm sorry Koenma," He said, the gun now off his lap. "I'm sorry, Kuwabara," He said, the gun now level with his chest. "I'm sorry, Yusuke," he said, the gun now at his neck. "I'm sorry, Hiei," he said, the gun now resting against his temple. He squeezed his eyes shut, and prayed. "But most of all," He spoke softly, resting his finger on the trigger, "I'm sorry . . . for myself," he whispered silently, bracing himself as he slowly pulled back the trigger.  
  
*Keep your eyes open for a while . . .*  
  
*"IDIOT!"* A familiar voice hissed.  
  
Kurama paused, opening his eyes slowly. " . . . Youko?"  
  
*"COWARD!"* Youko shouted, making Kurama's conscience spin.  
  
*In a box high up on the shelf, left for you, no one else . . .*  
  
*"What the hell do you think you're doing?!"*  
  
"Youko . . . I'm sorry . . . but I can't-"  
  
*There's a piece of a puzzle known as life . . .*  
  
*"Can't what? Deal with your problems? Don't you dare throw our life away with these silly emotions! Think of how Kuronue died. It didn't have to happen! I still wish I would have done something about it, but the past is the past. Just as my life was the past, but is now the present. Deal with it. At least we got a second chance in life, and I won't let you throw it away!"* Youko exclaimed, his words drilling their way through Kurama.  
  
*Wrapped in guilt, sealed up tight . . .*  
  
"I-I know . . . it's just . . ." Kurama's body shook, and the tears were still falling, but he finally lowered the gun.  
  
*What ever happened to the young man's heart . . .*  
  
*"Now we're getting somewhere. Do you think killing yourself would have solved any problems?"* Youko asked, his voice gentler now.  
  
"No." Kurama murmured as though he was a child in chastisement.  
  
*"Now you're thinking clearly."* Youko grinned, relieved he was able to reach his other self. *"Now . . . let's go home, eh? We still have that case tomorrow."*  
  
Kurama smiled faintly, before breaking the gun in half. "Yes. Home."  
  
*Swallowed by pain, as he slowly fell apart . . .*  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
Demons all around. Attacking each other and growing in number. Such ugly creatures. They were beginning to plan to march into the human world, when a lone figure stood before them.  
  
A boy with red hair, brilliant green eyes, and a calm expression stood there, whip in hand and smiling faintly. "I'm sorry, but this can't continue." He said, before all the demons were annihilated.  
  
*Everyone's pointing their fingers . . .*  
  
*KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK*  
  
The knocking came as more of an earthquake as Kurama shot up in surprise. He looked around to find he was still in his room and on his bed.  
  
*Always condemning me . . .*  
  
"Silly dreams," He whispered, before getting out of bed and getting dressed.  
  
Once dressed, he walked to the door and opened it, revealing a grinning Yusuke.  
  
*And nobody knows what I believe . . .*  
  
"Hey Kurama, are you feeling better?" He asked, still looking quite concerned.  
  
Kurama stared at him, seriously, then cracked a smile. "Yes Yusuke, I'm fine. Now, we have that case to attend to. Shall we?" Kurama smiled exiting the house and looking forward to another fine day in his life.  
  
*I believe . . .*  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
^^ I think I did good on this. Please review people!! ^___^ 


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